Unravel
Unravel the shell that surrounds you;
Break free of the cage you have built.
Release your intuition to the void
And imbibe the essence of existence.
Unravel all impossibly entangled thoughts;
Remove all illusions you have compiled.
Suspend the continuous process of thinking.
And revel in the ensuing silence.
Unravel the senses, one by one.
Relinquish the need for sight, touch, or sound.
Rid the body of any form of resistance
And gradually surrender all emotions.
Immerse yourself in the ways of the Tao;
Not taking nor giving,
Not benefiting nor harming.
Reflect its understanding of balance
And only then will it live within you,
Returning you to your origin, honored for eternity.
I really enjoyed how you focused on the individual and how we should not be uptight about everything and accept the truth and the way things work.
ReplyDeleteI like how you emphasize the central idea of unraveling. It makes your poem very nicely focused. Also I love your picture :D
ReplyDeleteWhat I like about this poem is how used the figurative cage to get your point across. Really good job.
ReplyDeleteI really liked the vocabulary you used. (Is "imbibe" one of your Membean words? :D) I also liked your phrasing and the way you described everything.
ReplyDeleteWow! Your poem is really good! I like your use of repetition when you use the word unraveling.
ReplyDeleteThe theme "unravel" is really good, it fits well with the message you're giving. I really like the sense of emotion in this piece, and the balloons at the very end makes it feel like a big "Hoorah!" at the end, and stays with me like a nice memory.
ReplyDelete