While plumes of smoke
Rise overhead.
The ground shudders beneath us
As the earth trembles
In light of man’s invention.
We used to think that science,
Glorious rationalism and
Unlocking the mysteries of the world,
Should symbolize safety and prosperity.
Yet somewhere in our history,
Perhaps when we traded power for peace,
Perhaps when we could destroy the world
A thousand times over,
We committed sacrilege.
In our prideful pursuit of prestige,
In our conquest of God’s domain,
We have been consumed
In our own, carnivorous creation,
Strangled by the callous grip of our indifference.
As we wage our war of morality,
We see in our reflection
A sanguine red
Smeared across the hearts of our palms,
Death in the creases of our foreheads,
Apathy glistening in our marble eyes.
And only when we see
The scorched trails of destruction,
A city here one moment and gone the next,
Do we wonder,
Did we do the right thing?
I really liked your use of alliteration an diction to support your message of the poem.
ReplyDeleteI really liked the alliteration you used in your poem. I enjoyed the 5th stanza the most. Your word choice was spectacular.
ReplyDeleteI really like the alliteration you use because it draws emphasis to some very powerful phrases, like "prideful pursuit of prestige", or "carnivorous creation", both of which communicate how humans are being consumed by this lust for power and nuclear warfare. My favorite line, however, is "Glorious rationalism and", because it shows these values that we try to uphold, but only leads to more suffering.
ReplyDeleteThis poem's message is so strong and global, it can be hard to tackle such a topic in an amateur poem, but your diction is very clearly understood by the reader, and it shows a deeper understanding of the issue at hand.
ReplyDeleteFavorite line: "Strangled by the callous grip of our indifference."
I also like how you describe the red color of the blood on our hands as "sanguine". In general your imagery is very vivid and clever.
When I read the stanza:
"Yet somewhere in our history,
Perhaps when we traded power for peace,
Perhaps when we could destroy the world
A thousand times over,
We committed sacrilege."
it really showed me your deeper understanding of the history and underlying issues.
My favorite aspect of the poem was definitely the word choice and strong diction you used, with words such as "sacrilege" and "God's domain" great words to use to bring out the message of the narrator. My favorite line was "And only when we see
ReplyDeleteThe scorched trails of destruction, A city here one moment and gone the next, Do we wonder, Did we do the right thing?". This stanza gave me an insight on this moral struggle that the atom bomb has made humans understand and really shines a greater light on this conflict.
I liked how this poem had a way of sounding very profound and powerful, and also wise. The very serious tone of the poem reflects how destructive nuclear weapons are. I like the line, "We have been consumed
ReplyDeleteIn our own, carnivorous creation." Throughout the poem, I think there are just lots of very clever phrases like "God's domain."