That World

That world

When I was in the seventh grade

I met two people

Who would give me the memories

Of a lifetime.

Well, I guess

I didn’t really “meet” them.

I found them

In a landscape

That I had run away to

When I had nowhere else to go.

A place that I ran to

Because I wished I could be someone else, someone different.

Because while I seeked entertainment,

I seeked a place to belong.

Because I did everything I could

To leave the identity I had behind

And create a new one in that world.

I looked different in that world.

The chubby cheeks gone.

The proud belly, a six pack.

My body, redrawn.

I acted different in that world.

My fear turned to courage.

My actions in righteousness.

I sounded different in that world.

In that silent world,

Where nobody could do anything but grunt and yell

My unpleasant, monotone voice no longer distinguished me.

In that world I found them.

A boy who had been suspended

Because he had beaten up

another student.

A girl who I imagined

Would have been called a slut.

And me.

A lazy, unfit middle schooler

Who only enjoyed playing video games.

A band of misfits.

An unlikely trio.

A bunch of immature kids.

A group of friends.

That is what we were.

How strange.

How they could accept my immaturity

And that I could accept their background.

How time passed on

And I found that my time with them

Became just as enjoyable

As my time in the this world.

How I could sit down in a room

For two hours after I finished what I had to do

And do nothing but talk about life with someone

I had never really met.

Someone I had never really seen the face of.

Someone I had never really heard the voice of.

And yet, I wondered how something as quiet

As the text on a screen

Could speak so loudly,

So vividly,

So kindly, to me.

But one day,

We all left that world behind.

We went back to where we came from.

And we abandoned that brilliant world.

Because we knew, I knew.

That this world must be bad for me,

I was sure of it.

When I was in the ninth grade

I met someone again

Who would leave me with a story

That I would never forget.

I revisited that world once more.

And as I had returned,

I found that he was there too.

Like that time you saw your friend

At the same Costco as you.

A boy

Who was now out of school

But had taken up the difficult task

of taking on not only society

But depression,

The betrayal of his friends and parents,

The death of his closest friend.

And it was then that I realized

That what mattered most

Were not the grades I earned

Or the highscores I achieved.

But the people I met.

In both this world

And that world.

That wonderful world,

Where I spent hours procrastinating.

That world

That my parents tried to keep me from,

Because it was bad for me.

That world

That others told me was a waste of time,

Because there were better things to do in life.

That world

That people told me destroyed your social interactions.

Because it was filled with nerds and losers.

That world

Where I met some of the most wonderful people,

Despite their flaws and mistakes.

That world

Where you couldn’t be judged for the outside

Because the only thing that you could see

Was the inside.

That world

Where I was told to be careful

Of the people who lurked there.

That world

Where even if they gave me delusions,

I still fell in love with those illusions.

That world

Where I accepted my identity

My real identity,

And left behind the friends

Whom I had never really met.

Who I had never really seen.

Who I had never really heard.

Because even then,

I still look to that world sometimes.

Because I want to believe

That someday, perhaps I’ll meet them again.