She stands alone
In front of a mirror
Eyes screaming
As her pursuer follows
Her every glance
Through the glassy surface
She can’t escape
As he lingers
Jumping from room to room
Always one step behind her
But never truly there
She crumbles to the ground.
You find her
In this disheveled state
Coax her out of her fears
“You’re alright now”
“There is nothing there”
She reluctantly accepts
What could she ever do
To repay you?
You leave the room
“Only for a minute, I promise”
To tend to the copper kettle
Whistling away across the kitchen
She screams.
You turn.
The only sound
Is the kettle hitting the hardwood.
She’s gone.
I like how you used enjambment to make the poem seem rushed to match the fear, instead of letting it flow slowly. It seemed most emphasized in the lines "Eyes screaming, As her pursuer follows," which really made the poem work.
ReplyDeleteWow, this poem is really mysterious! I like it! I also like how you use dialogue in the poem to bring out its message. My favorite line is probably the last one because it adds a sense of suspense to your poem.
ReplyDeleteI like the ominous tone used in your poem. It fits the scene well. My favorite line is "Only for a minute, I promise" because I feel as if that is the climax of your poem. I also noticed your use of enjambment.
ReplyDeleteI like how you used enjambment to elongate the poem and make it feel choppy and rushed. I liked the last line because it's like a plot twist. The message of the whole poem is creative and unique.
ReplyDeleteThe dialog in this really makes the poem come to life! I like your personification on "eyes screaming"
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ReplyDeleteI like the way that you attack a difficult topic with a metaphor. I also like how it's from a perspective that we don't usually see. I really enjoyed the way that you used line breaks in the last two stanzas to place emphasis in all of the right places. I also enjoyed the subtle assonance that you put in, like "glance" and "glassy." I like this stanza a lot:
ReplyDelete"You find her
In this disheveled state
Coax her out of her fears
“You’re alright now”
“There is nothing there”
She reluctantly accepts
What could she ever do
To repay you?"
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDelete