Pt. 1
Pen in hand, she lingers
Over an absence of
Loops and swirls
Lines and dots
She is overwhelmed by the intensity
Of nothing—absolute nothing
The whiteness, it’s blinding
How does one write?
She’s a schooner, sailing far from reality
Thoughts like clouds storm the clear skies
And the ink spills from the pen
Teardrops of blue fill the void
The water rises and
An orchestra of thunder and lightning
Sound to the rhythm of her beating heart
A tempest, a typhoon—a light bulb? False alarm
And so the light peaks from the clouds
And the skies are empty once again
And the pen leaks
And the ink engulfs the words unsaid
Pt. 2
But instead of on paper, pen on skin
The blue ink overflows
and floods the cracks of her skin
No, they’re not perfect
The flowers she draws aren’t perfect
Six petal flowers and clovers cover
Every inch of her canvas blue
Forget-me-not, wish me luck
Her palette of ink is an ocean mist
Of crashing waves and wasted colors
Her hand is constellation of lopsided circles
Smudges of shooting stars
Her palette of ink paints the memories
Of happier days when
Words were said
And not written
She’s told to dot her i’s and cross her t’s,
But her inkstained hands
Tell more of a story
Than her writing will ever do
I like the simple organization of your poem since it makes it easy to read and understand even though it has a deep message. I really like the line about the constellation of lopsided circles.
ReplyDeleteI love how relatable this poem is, of writer's block and procrastination and doodling and absent minded thinking.
ReplyDeleteI like the metaphor of the storm to show thoughts, and then empty skies.
I found that the message of the poem was really relatable and vividly told – the metaphors fit the message really well and didn't hinder it at all.
ReplyDeleteI really liked "Sound to the rhythm of her beating heart/A tempest, a typhoon—a light bulb? False alarm," because it spoke to me and was also kind of funny.
This poem actually really reminds me of you! I really really love how it doesn't try to describe some monumental event or political commentary; it's simple and beautiful.
ReplyDeleteI love how you took a simple but emotionally strong idea and really expanded it with beautiful imagery.
ReplyDeletefavorite line:
"Her palette of ink paints the memories
Of happier days when
Words were said
And not written"
I like the irony, that part of your poem's message is that your writing is not the thing that tells the story, but the poem itself is writing that tells your story.
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ReplyDeleteJULIA AHHH that was so cute omg I love it, I loved your very first line about the blank whiteness omg. Everything was just perfect!!!!!
ReplyDeleteI like how this poem really shows the frustration of not being able to write out your ideas on paper by using metaphors such as the turbulence of the storm and the blinding whiteness. I also thought that the last line "ink-stained hands/tell more a story..." was especially enlightening (?).
ReplyDeleteMy favorite aspect of the poem was definitely the flow and how all the stanzas fit well with each other through smooth transitions and line breaks. I loved the "And" repetition lines and the idea of splitting the poem into two different parts with different tones to them.
ReplyDeleteI really loved this poem! I liked how it was about a simple idea but you really expanded on it and made it really great. I loved the metaphor about the palette and the ocean waves. :)
ReplyDelete